I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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