But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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