i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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