She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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