I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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