I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
