No awkward lesbian experiences without me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
