we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
