everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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