he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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