So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
