I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
