I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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