the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
