the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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