Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
