I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
