the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
