It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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