they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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