The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
