All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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