I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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