Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
