I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
