i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
