It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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