I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Green mimosas i think yes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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