so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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