i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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