This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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