glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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