we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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