ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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