I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
