yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
