You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
