I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You left your phone here
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