How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
