we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
