Dual....:-)
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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