I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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