I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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