Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
