Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize