You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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