Fine. I'll sleep in my office
false alarm. still invincible.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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