pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
