HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
