The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
where does the pee come out of this thing
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
