I showed him my bush... on skype.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
