walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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