If i come over, it means nothing
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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