just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
