I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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