So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He shit in the fireplace
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
