3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
