gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
