Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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