Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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