first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
FUCK WHALES
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
