"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Help me help you realize you are a moron
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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