Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
