I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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