please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
