:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
