don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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