haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
