4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
