Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
